Before The Second Show
by StewLuv
Summary: She will always own his heart. No matter if she believes she doesn't have one of her own. Their secretive, passionate and hurtful affair will be played by her songs and he will listen for years to come.  *On Hiatus
1. Her Sad Guitar

**Thank you itsange and Idealistic4ever from PTB for making this pretty enough for me to present :) **

**Please know that I don't own Twilight (blah blah) and this story is rated M for lemons, strong language and some drug use.**

**Songs recommended and mentioned in this chapter are **_**Superstar **_**covered by Sonic Youth and **_**Hallelujah **_**by either Jeff Buckley or Brandi Carlile.**

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_Chapter 1-Her Sad Guitar_

The smell of different colognes and perfumes mixed with liquor, serenaded by the chatter of the crowded bar, made the perfect escape for Edward.

As he traced the rim of his empty glass, he ignored the laughter and the bad music playing out of an old jukebox, drowning in the overwhelming feeling of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It felt amazing.

There wasn't anybody to tell him what to do or think. There weren't overpriced clothes or food to annoy the hell out of him. There weren't any obligations or people who were professing their fake love for him or his money.

He smiled to himself.

"How bout' another?" The bartender asked. Edward just nodded and pushed the empty glass towards the friendly man.

After finishing his third drink, he loosened his tie, undid the first three buttons of his expensive shirt, and shoved the sleeves up to his elbows. Someone turned the music off and he internally thanked whoever did it. He ordered a fourth drink, wiped away the sweat from his forehead and sighed as the drink was delivered.

A slap on the back made him jump.

"Hey man, do you like the place?" Emmett shouted with a beer in his hand and a smile on his stupid face.

Edward had met Emmett when he hired him to help him out in the law firm. His father argued that Emmett didn't seem to fit the standards of what they needed in a lawyer, but Edward knew he really meant that Emmett didn't have enough fucking money or that he didn't go to the best prep school like he did. The guy was from the shitty, white trash side of town, which was why Edward liked him.

"Yeah," Edward simply answered and went back to the fascinating world inside his glass.

"I know it's not one of those fancy, preppy joints you usually go to, but its fucking cool and the drinks are cheaper."

Edward nodded and held his glass up, showing proof of what he was saying.

Emmett chuckled and ordered another beer. "You have to get up and walk around man. There is a lot of fresh and sexy flesh out here."

Edward sighed loudly and Emmett playfully shoved his friend. "It's not official yet, so why not enjoy the night?" Emmett suggested.

Edward didn't respond and barely heard when Emmett said he would see him around, before walking away.

_Not official yet._

Edward groaned and shoved his hands into his messy hair.

What his life become in the past four years was something he never saw coming. It was ridiculous. Every time he thought about it, he laughed bitterly and cursed at the imaginary slideshow of his life that played in his eyes. He was an idiot. It wasn't like his life hadn't been planned out since the day he was born, but still.

Since he was a rebellious teen, he had promised himself; he wasn't going to be like those people; like his family…

Yet, now at the age of 26, he was an exact replica of their perfect world. He was suffocating and would die soon.

He didn't want to die.

He wanted to live for once.

Edward ignored the owner of the bar as he presented the first musical act. He rubbed his face and turned to look towards the stage as the crowd began to cheer.

A young woman walked from behind the stage and into the spotlight with a beautiful caramel acoustic guitar hanging from her shoulder. She wore tight jeans and a light brown leather jacket over her tattered black Johnny Cash T-shirt. She placed her beautiful brown curls behind her ears and positioned the guitar, ready to play before leaning into the microphone.

"Hey guys, I'm Marie." Her raspy and sultry voice stayed in Edward's mind even as the crowd let out a loud cheer in her honor. He didn't know if the chills on his skin were a product of too much to drink or her voice. The stage lights seemed to set her pale skin aglow and make her curly chestnut hair shine like an angel from heaven itself. He turned his body to face her completely.

She started to strum her guitar, and by the first notes, Edward smiled as he recognized the song right away.

The crowd went completely silent.

_Well, I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?_

He couldn't have known that she would sing like an angel as well.

A pained angel.

Her voice broke on the perfect parts and sent chills through the crowd, including Edward who was trying hard not to fall off the bar stool that barely held him. His eyes were glued to the woman with the amazing voice and beautiful face_._

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
You know, I used to live alone before I knew you

She closed her eyes and strummed a little harder. Edward lost himself in her voice and expressions as she cried her heart out into the microphone, and before he realized what he was doing, he had squeezed his way through the crowd trying to get closer to her. He fought through the sea of people, ignoring the annoyed comments and grunts from the people he shoved passed—he didn't care for them. As he found her beautiful face, he forgot about everything else—there was only her, there was only him.

He forgot about his name and what it meant.

As the song came to its end, Edward groaned in disappointment, but the sound of his heartbreak was drowned out by the loud cheers for the beautiful chestnut brunette on stage. She smiled and bowed, welcoming in the well deserved praise. Edward eagerly waited for her to announce that she had another song- it would be devastating if this was the end.

It just couldn't be…

"Thank you guys," she said breathlessly into the microphone. She moved a sweaty strand of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat.

Edward paid attention to every detail of every move she made, engraving her images into his brain to remember them later, he stood there.

"Before I move on, I just wanted to present the guys that will help me with the rest of the songs. You know em' but they still deserve an intro considering how fucking awesome they are!"

The crowd cheered again, but Edward yet again didn't seem to hear the words she was saying, only able to stare at way her plump lips moved.

He started intensely at a single bead of sweat that rolled down the side of her face. He couldn't take his eyes away from the pink of her flushed cheeks caused by her passionate singing. He didn't know if it was amount of alcohol in his system or if was just how completely lost he was in her. He had been "in place" and did what he was supposed to do for the past few years of his life.

He hated it.

Now, he was lost in her and he didn't mind one bit.

A young girl with a black boyish hair cut came on stage and strapped on a red guitar and shyly waved at the crowd, while a tall and slender guy strapped on a bass. The drummer looked like a complete jackass and frowned his way to the drum set. He ran a hand through his short spiked hair and smirked as the pretty brunette nodded at him. Marie's band mates all looked dark and the complete opposite of her. Edward guessed they were Latino or maybe Native American.

"This song here is 'Superstar' by the Carpenters but with our very own touch. It's a cheesy ass 70's song that I love," she said and smiled to herself.

Edward smiled back at the girl as if she had meant the endearment for him—she hadn't even looked his way. It didn't matter, all he wanted was for her to know that it was okay for her to love that song because he loved it too, and she didn't have to be embarrassed.

_Long ago and oh so far away_

_I fell in love with you._

_Before the second show…_

Edward decided it. It wasn't like he actually had a choice. _It_ just happened and he knew it.

_It_ happened…

The other girl joined at the chorus as backup vocals and created a beautiful mixture that did in fact make that cheesy song the saddest fucking thing he had ever heard.

Marie then continued solo.

_Loneliness, is such a sad affair_

_And I can hardly wait _

_To be with you again_

_What to say, to make you come again_

_Come back to me again_

_And play your sad guitar_

Marie strummed her guitar harder as the chorus came again, her voice broke at the word "love" making it so real, making it the truest thing in his pathetic life. He stared at her peaceful face as the song continued to its end.

Her closed eyes flew open in his direction.

Finally…

_Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?_

She sung the last parts to him. He knew it. It wasn't some stupid trick played by his desperate mind. She was looking right at him. Her brown eyes stayed on him as the song came to an end and didn't move as the crowd clapped. Edward hoped maybe she would see it too.

What he saw and felt…

After a few more seconds, she finally smiled at him and turned her attention back to the audience as if nothing had happened. She acted as if it wasn't important. As if he wasn't there, wishing to have her.

_No!_

He panicked.

He swallowed. His throat was dry.

Marie and the band played two more songs before the second show, bowing and thanking the crowd appreciatively before exiting the stage.

Edward didn't move from his spot as she and the others moved off the stage to make room for the next band. Maybe she would come back. She couldn't be this cruel.

But she didn't come back.

Edward moved away from the crowd, scanning for the girl. Surely after singing like that, she would get thirsty.

He was sure he was having a panic attack as no face became hers. He nervously ran his hand through his hair that surely looked like a fucking mess.

"Hey dude," Emmett shouted over the noise of the crowd.

Edward ignored him, still looking for his singing bird.

"Dude, you okay? You look paranoid as fuck!"

"Did you see her, Em?" Edward asked still not looking at his friend.

"Who?"

"Her!" Edward was frustrated and the thumping of his heart against his chest and the obliviousness of his friend didn't help.

"Okay there is like fifty _hers_ in here."

"The singer!" Edward shouted as if it was obvious.

"Oh, Marie! Yeah, man, she went back stage to get freshened up. She'll come out and have a few tequila shots in a little while."

Edward wasn't sure how his friend knew this and envied the shit out of him, but felt a ping of relief that he at least knew he still had a chance to catch her. "How do you know this?"

"She sings here every Friday with her band and does the same thing every time. Sings and then drinks a few shots of tequila and leaves. Very coolchick. She's a local favorite. Everybody here loves her. But she only stays here during the summer."

"I need to meet her," Edward said seriously and Emmett laughed at him.

"Right!" Emmett patted Edward's shoulder. He failed to see how serious and desperate Edward was.

It didn't matter.

"I found this cute chick and she has a sister. You wanna come?"

Edward shook his head and Emmett shrugged.

"Alright man, well if you leave let me know." Emmett walked away and disappeared into the crowd.

Edward's wandering eyes searched for her again. He was becoming ill with disappointed when he finally spotted her at the bar. Her chestnut hair beautifully cascaded down her back. The guitar player was standing next to her telling her something, clearly not that interesting, as she just nodded at the poor girl.

The girl sighed in annoyance and patted Marie's back and walked away.

This was his chance.

He took a deep breath. He slowly approached her and sat on the bar stool next to her as she lit a cigarette. The way her lips wrapped around the lucky nicotine stick made Edward groan silently.

She took a long drag from her cigarette and quickly took the shot of tequila. She finally caught him staring and looked at him. She didn't say anything as she studied him and only took a few hits from her cigarette.

Edward was shocked he didn't feel like a fucking creep or psycho staring at her like he was. But she didn't seem to be put off anyway. She crookedly smiled at him and exhaled the smoke from her lungs.

Edward didn't even like smokers and yet she was the sexiest thing fucking ever.

Hey you," she said in that raspy and sultry voice that had bewitched him from the beginning. He just stared at her silently. "Are you mute?"

He shook his head which only caused her to chuckle.

"Well, goddamn you poor fool. Aren't you gonna buy me a drink or what? Everyone else does."

Edward quickly nodded and she laughed again.

"Hey Jerry!" She shouted and the bartender quickly came to her. "Get me and my mute friend a couple of really cold beers. Is beer okay buddy?"

Edward again only nodded and she smiled widely at him.

"Alright, Marie, coming right up. You rocked it by the way." Jerry said and Marie waved him away. She went back to her cigarette and Edward cleared his throat. "You're amazing," he said lowly and she looked at him again.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"And you're a little weird. It looks like we'll get along just right." She laughed, making him smile. The beers came and they sat silently drinking them away. He noticed the small tattoo on her right wrist and he suddenly wanted to know every story behind it. He also wanted to know the story behind the small scar on the side of her forehead.

But he didn't get a chance to ask as she suddenly stood up.

"I gotta go…what's your name?"

"Edward," he said almost in question. He was panicking because she was leaving.

"I like it. It reminds me of them old books I read in school. Very classy name," she said as she put her jacket on. "Well Edward I gotta go. See ya' around." She started walking away and he couldn't find the words to stop her, but his feet carried him towards her. He was about to get to the bar's door which she exited through when a large hand stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"Every Friday I have to stop these fucking drunken fools from following Marie. She ain't interested!" A large bald man shouted in his face.

"It's alright Pete, let my friend go." Emmett appeared to his friend's rescue. He wrapped an arm around Edward's shoulders. "Dude, what's the matter with you?" He asked as he pulled him outside the bar. The cold wind hit Edward's face slapping him awake.

"I don't know," Edward muttered.

Edward pulled away from Emmett and quickly made it to his car.

"Edward! Edward, come back! You had too much too much to drink, man!" Emmett shouted. Edward didn't know where he was going; all he knew was that he needed to get away from that bar. It no longer had what he needed.

He drove his Volvo until he spotted an old pickup truck on the side of the road. The driver was under the hood with a flashlight in her hand.

It was her!

Edward made a horrible U turn and parked behind her. He quickly made it to her and she jumped as she caught sight of him.

"What the hell?" she yelled and picked her cigarette off from the ground that had fallen in her fright and placed it between her lips again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized, but her rolled eyes and sigh let him know that she didn't care.

"It's alright Ed, just get my truck fixed," she said as if they had been friends for the longest time. He stumbled to the front of the truck and jumped when she shoved the flashlight at him. He scanned the old truck's parts looking for something that was out of place, but the truth was that all of those years of law school never taught him anything about vehicles. He had no damn idea what to look for.

He turned to look at her. Her cheeks reddened from the cold and her pouty lips distracted him for a moment.

"Um, I don't know," he simply mumbled.

She laughed, "Then what the hell are you doing here?"

He felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"I was passing by and I saw you in trouble and that's pretty much it. Thought I would make a fool of myself." She smiled at his absurd confession. "I can give you a ride home," he offered and she chewed on her lower lip in contemplation.

She didn't know the man. Hell, she didn't know his last name. But someone with a face like his couldn't possibly hold any evil in his heart.

"Alright, but if you kill me, just know I'll hate you for it."

He chuckled and helped her close her truck's hood and pointed the flashlight in the direction of his car. He opened the passenger's door for her and she jumped in. He ran to his side and threw the flashlight to the backseat.

"Well, Edward, if you are a serial killer let me just say, it's some funny shit that you drive a mom's car," she joked as she grabbed for her seat belt. He smiled into the car's darkness.

"I'm not a killer," he said.

She laughed, "Oh, well, fucking thank the lord for that!" She sat back and placed a boot on his dashboard. Being anybody else, he would have shouted and demand her boot off his dashboard, but he couldn't be happier that she did it. It meant she felt comfortable around him to take such liberties.

He started the car and entered the road. She flicked her cigarette out the window and gave him directions to her house. Edward didn't really know this side of town. He felt out of place.

Again, he didn't mind.

The ride was silent.

"Ed?"

"Yeah?" He hated when people called him by that name, but coming out of her mouth, he enjoyed it more than he could comprehend.

"I'm glad you found me," she said and looked out her window. Edward didn't want to see more into her comment, but he was more than happy that he had found her.

He finally found her.

At a red light, Edward took the opportunity to admire her face under the red glare of the light. She caught him and smiled.

"You have a staring problem, buddy. But I like it," she said shaking her head.

He knew she wasn't upset by the wide grin on her face.

"Why?"

"The way you look at me, makes me feel pretty goddamn special."

"You are," he whispered to himself, but he was pretty sure she had heard him.

They finally got to her apartment complex. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods. Edward looked around in worry something would jump out. He was so concentrated on finding something dangerous, that he glared at her when he heard her giggle.

"Nothin' is gonna happen, Superman." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay," was all he could say. What else was he to say? They sat in silence for a long moment. He was still tightly gripping the steering wheel hoping something would happen to make her ask him to stay. He turned and looked for it in her face. She bit on her lower lip and looked at him with heavy eyes.

"You wanna check if the coast is clear, Superman?" She asked, and her tone of voice made him groan. He just nodded hoping she hadn't heard him. She smirked and opened her door. Edward fumbled with his seat belt and gulped as he closed his door. He followed her to the complex with his hands shoved into his pockets.

There was nothing he wanted more, yet he could feel his heart in his throat and the sweat on his forehead.

It wasn't like he was a saint.

He had been with a fair share of women in his life.

But none of them were her.

The inside of the complex wasn't any better than the outside. The walls were stained and everything looked worn out and old. But she acted like she wasn't fazed by any of it. She didn't say anything as he followed close behind. The quiet of the complex made their footsteps the only music in their way to her place.

With every step he took, he knew there was no going back. Once she became his and he became all hers, he would never take it back and she would never return his sanity and heart to him, but he didn't care. She could have it.

All of it.

They finally reached her apartment. She unlocked it but had to shove it with her shoulder to make it budge open. She didn't say anything again and he assumed he was invited in as she left the door open behind her.

He slipped inside and closed the door shut. He turned back into the dark apartment and noticed there was a room with light. He slowly approached it and took a peek inside. It was her bedroom. For a woman, she was pretty messy but it caused him to smile. It seemed to fit her.

There were a few guitars against the wall and a lot of worn out notebooks scattered on the floor. He glanced around the rest of the place since she wasn't in her room. He walked across what seemed to be her living room and found her in her small kitchen. There was only space for a refrigerator, a stove and a sink. She was head into her refrigerator. She had slipped out of her leather jacket and t-shirt and was now only in a white wife beater and those tight jeans he had come to love.

She pulled away with two water bottles and smirked at him as he stood against the corner of the tiny kitchen.

"Thought you'd be thirsty for some good ole' water." She handed him a bottle and he graciously took it. She jumped onto the counter by the sink and chugged down her water. He stared at her throat and even found it fascinating. He wanted to lick the bead of water running down her neck and maybe up to her pretty mouth. Suddenly his pants were becoming too tight.

"You're beautiful," he said without hesitation and she began choking on her water while some of it got on her chest.

"Shit, Edward, if you wanted to see my boobs, all you had to do was ask." He knew she was joking, but he didn't mind taking the offer. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and smirked at him again. It was as if she knew she had him. Her mouth smiled in victory. It pissed him off a little.

In a good way.

He slowly made his way in front of her, placing himself between her legs and tested her comfort by slowly getting as close as he could to her beautiful skin. He was finally inches away from her face. She stared at him and was completely still as he studied every freckle on her cheeks, every line, and every imperfection she owned.

With his finger tips, he traced her jaw up to her cheek bones and then her nose. She closed her eyes and exhaled a shaky breath.

"You…you really think I'm beautiful?" She whispered and he slowly neared his lips to hers.

"Yes," he whispered back against her mouth. She pressed her forehead against his and took a deep breath. She wanted him to do it, to get this agonizing wait out of the way. But he was taking his time.

He slowly ran his large hands up her soft, bare arms clasping them together loosely at the back of her neck. He ran his nose across her jaw and behind her ear. He softly pressed his lips at the skin there and smiled when he heard her moan. He traced her jaw once more, but with his lips until he reached her neck. He sucked on the water there.

"Shit," she gasped and wrapped her legs around his waist and pressing herself against him. She took his face and pulled him up to hers. He beat her to it and pressed his lips to hers. It started out as slow and gentle, but the fire they both felt took over.

He traced her lips with his tongue making her moan. He plunged his tongue into her now opened mouth to finally meet hers. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He was pretty sure she could feel what she was doing to him in his pants and to prove it, grinding himself against her. She loudly moaned into his mouth, but pushed him away.

That wasn't what he was expecting.

"Wait Edward," she gasped for air. "Just give me a damn sec." She held onto the counter top and his shirt for dear life.

"What is it?" he asked, still with the issue in his pants.

"You just to have to promise me one thing."

"Whatever you want," he said breathlessly. At this point he would promise her the fucking moon.

"You don't take this seriously. This is just a carnal deal and that's all you'll ever know of me. You can have it, but don't you dare leave this place with me. I stay here."

He knew exactly what she meant and though something in his chest didn't agree, he would take what he could.

"Okay," he simply answered.

"You promise?"

"Yes, Marie."

"Alright then, but fucking hell, don't call me Marie. That's just my stage and middle name, but I hate the fucker."

"Then what should I call you?"

"Bella. That's my real name. My friends and…." She sighed and smiled sadly. "And my family call me Bella."

"It suits you." She didn't respond and instead grabbed him by his tie and pulled him to her. She wrapped her legs around his waist once again and smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Edward took one last look into her brown eyes and knew there was no going back. He was about to give her his soul and didn't care. Their lips hungrily met again. Their tongues danced and their hands wandered over each other's unknown bodies.

His hands found their way under her think wife beater and to her bra's clasp. He undid it and she suddenly pushed him back to remove her wife beater completely. He moaned as her loose bra threatened to reveal what he desired to touch as she threw the useless tank top somewhere in the tiny kitchen.

He didn't wait and with a desperate need grasped her bra and shoved it down her arms. He cupped her breast, before shoving his face into her neck. He licked and sucked while rubbing her nipples with his thumb, making her buck her hips.

"Goddamn, Edward," she moaned and gasped into his ear which only drove him further into his desperation to consume her. She started to grind herself on his obvious erection making him groan into her neck.

"Jesus…" He pulled her off the counter and with her still wrapped around his waist and glued to his mouth, he made it to the bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed, but not daring to separate from her skin. There would be no room for her to change her mind.

He went back to her neck while she snapped his shirt open. The sound of the poor buttons hitting the floor, made him drive into her harder.

"Shit!" She gasped feeling him through her jeans. "Take these off." She pulled at his pants. He stood up and hurriedly shoved his pants down his legs, desperate to be so close to her once again. She shifted and wiggled out of her tight jeans, but he had the honor of helping her finish leaving her just in small black panties.

The moonlight through her bedroom window made her naked pale skin glow for him and he hovered over to admire up close.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said breathlessly and she smirked.

"You keep saying that. But I have to say the same about you," she whispered in a seductive raspy voice that made him groan as she wrapped a hand around his dick.

"Shit," he gasped and attacked her mouth. He slipped his hand down her chest, belly slowly making his way into her panties. He moaned into her mouth as he felt how wet she already was. He caressed her folds with his finger tips oh so softly and lovingly.

She snapped her eyes open her eyes and snatched his hand out of her panties.

"Quit fucking around, Ed. I need you inside me, now!" She shoved her panties down her legs revealing her bare self to him. She stretched over to her night stand and pulled out a small foil packet and ripped it open with her mouth. He stared in utter aw and shock as she rolled the damn thing on him.

She was amazing.

She wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him to her mouth to show him how desperate she was. He took in the invitation and guided his erection into her entrance. As he entered the tip, he felt her body tense and he pulled his face back to admire her face as he slowly slid into her the rest of the way. She arched her head back into the pillow and dug her nails into his arms as she held onto for dear life.

She exhaled her held breath and squeezed her eyes shut and moaned his name. Edward stared in awe, no longer paying attention to his own pleasure.

She was without a doubt, the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

He started thrusting in a slow pace and kissed her every bit of her mouth, taking in her breaths and moans into his own. He lightly kissed her chin and cheeks, loving her in every way, hoping she could feel it too. She slid her hands down his back and grabbed his ass cheeks and pulled him deeper into her.

He smiled and sped up his pace as she made appreciative noises. He pulled himself up with his hands that held onto the bed as he drove into her. He stared down at her face. A bead of sweat ran down his nose and dropped onto her chest. She snapped her eyes open and looked straight into his green emeralds.

He didn't avoid her eyes and for a moment she didn't avoid him. He wished she could see in his eyes as he slid in and out of her tightness. He wished she could see what he felt and was sure she felt too. She swallowed and for a quick moment stilled her movements and he did his. She studied his face and with a soft look on her face, gently caressed his cheek with the back of her fingers.

He trembled by the simple act and sighed. She quickly removed her hand and wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck as to hide from him. She kissed his neck and urged him to move again which he did.

They finished in a hard and desperate pace.

Edward laid on his back with a sleeping Bella on his belly. Her curls draped on his chest and her arms wrapped him. He stared at the ceiling and ran a hand through her hair, trying his best not to become aroused by how her warm breath gently hit his belly button and how he could feel her wet warmth on his leg.

He was trying to come up with an excuse or story to have her again.

No matter what he thought of, his reality always came back to remind him of what and who was waiting for him on the other side of town.

They expected him so much of him and_ she _expected her last name to change at the end of the summer, but as Bella stirred and placed open mouth kisses from his belly to his chest, Edward knew he had to do something.

He had to do something to have her again and not just for another night.

He no longer belonged to them.

He belonged to her.

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**So…if you read ATTY, you know I like the tasteful angst and I'm good at it, but I promise you the angst in this story, though present, won't be as bad…maybe. Bella and Edward will make some decisions that will make you question their morality but that's real life. Please give them a chance.**

**If anybody wants to know, I imagine Bella's singing voice to be like Brandi Carlile. Her music inspired this version of Bella. I just love her raspy womanly voice and she does sing a version of **_**Hallelujah**_**. **

**The story was partly inspired by the song **_**Superstar, **_**Sonic Youth's version since it's a male singing it and it fits Edward.**

**Please let me know what you think of the first chapter. The next chapter is almost done, but I have to get it through a beta which might take a week, so save BTSS on alerts if you want to and stick around. :) **

****ATTY fans, I am also almost finished with the next chapter, so look out for that.**


	2. Encore

**Hello! Here is chapter 2. Thank you for the lovely reviews chapter one got. **

**Thank you to Mel/mcc101180 and itsange for making this presentable. You guys are totally cool.**

**The song for this chapter is "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. Fuckawesome song!**

Chapter 2-Encore

Edward rested on his side, staring at Bella's bare back while the minutes threatened to end his peaceful rest. Strangely, he hadn't been to sleep for very long.

It had been well into the early morning when they'd finally stopped. Bella had been the first one to succumb to fatigue, falling into a deep sleep from which she had yet to awaken.

Edward smiled to himself, remembering the wild woman that had owned his body for the past few hours. She wasn't afraid to demand from him or use him for her own pleasure.

And fuck did she have a dirty mouth.

"_Fuck me harder," she moaned into his ear. _

_Edward groaned, feeling her hot breath on him as she panted. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders. He sped up and rammed into he ,causing her to cry._

"_Shit," he gasped afraid he had hurt her._

"_No! Don't fucking stop. Like that. Just like that, baby." She took his earlobe into her mouth and sucked while he tried his best not to blow his load. _

_He continued in his animalistic pace, rocking the headboard into the wall. For a quick second, he worried the weak and pathetic wall would eventually crumble, but he didn't think she would mind._

_He got an idea and lifted himself and her sweaty body up. He maneuvered her so she was straddling him and took her by the hips and slammed_ her _onto his cock._

"_Holy shit!" She roughly held onto his sweaty hair._

_It fucking hurt, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. She didn't notice, lost in pleasure. _

"_I'm almost there, please!" she shouted and he wondered if she had any neighbors. _

_He grunted as he felt the tightness in his balls and began sucking on her right breast to distract himself. She yelped and he could feel her walls tightened around him. Her release was followed by his, but when she tried to move off him, he held onto her tightly, securing her to his chest with his arms. He buried his face into her sweaty neck, breathing in her scent of strawberries and sex._

_She was perfect. _

_As she tried to catch her breath, he kissed her neck and throat and felt warmth in his chest when he heard her sigh. He pulled his head back to study her face. _

_There was complete silence, only the occasionally car passing by the apartment complex and their heavy breathing. Unafraid, they stared into each other's eyes. _

_Even in the dark he could see the shine in her brown eyes. He wondered if maybe if it was just a reflection of what he felt. They'd had sex three times now, and this was the second time he had seen that glimmer in her eyes. He gently moved a strand of her damp hair behind her ear that had dared to fall onto her face. She closed her eyes and let out a broken breath as his fingertips smoothly ran across her cheek._

_He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. They had barely made contact, but he knew her lips had felt the same feeling as his. She had to! _

_She kissed him back just as gently and opened her eyes to find his again threatening to see hers and she wasn't going to allow it. She felt how hard he was again and attacked his mouth and began thrusting._

_This was the only way she knew how to avoid the truth._

She stirred and turned to face him. Her mess of hair fell on her face as she found a comfortable position. Edward chuckled and slowly moved her hair so she wouldn't breathe it in. He sighed as her peaceful face reflected what he felt.

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and groaned to find it to be near seven in the morning.

He had to leave soon to be with _them_.

He traced her cheek bones and her nose with his index finger; she sighed and grabbed his hand. He chuckled, realizing she was awake. He had no clue why this made him so happy. She intertwined their fingers and fluttered her eyes open.

"Hey, you," she said, her voice still heavy with sleep. She let go of his hand and rubbed her face. "Jesus, I'm still butt naked!" she squealed and wrapped herself in the bed sheets, pulling them off his body completely. She didn't notice until she heard him laugh. "Oh, what a pleasant surprise," she said, looking at something that was not his face. She smirked and playfully slapped his belly. "Tell Ed Junior to take the morning off. He worked too damn hard last night."

"He doesn't mind. But he enjoys what he does."

"I'm sure he does, that little bastard."

He laughed again.

"I'm gonna take a shower. I feel properly used, but it don't mean I have to smell like it. Feel free to make yourself some coffee or just knock on my door when you leave." She jumped off the bed leaving the bed sheets behind.

He ignored the ping of hurt at her assumption that he would just leave after what had happened and stared at the way her ass moved with every step.

He rubbed his face and sat up to find his clothes that were, at the moment, scattered around. His eyes roamed her room, hungry to find out more about her. On the floor were scattered books, vinyl records, and CD cases, and on the small table under her window was an old record player. He ignored the mess that surely she didn't care about and admired how incredibly interesting she was. She was so different from his world. It was as if she was a fine rarity.

He was being ridiculous, he knew it, but he couldn't give a shit.

Edward stood up and quickly threw on his button-less shirt and slipped into his pants. The sound of the water in the shower gave him the indication that he still had time to snoop around her room, as stalker-ish as that sounded.

He smiled at her selection of literature. It was mostly Jane Austen and Bronte; she didn't seem like that kind of girl. She seemed too tough and not as sensitive as someone who read Austen would be. Her musical taste was superb according to Edward's standards.

Any girl that listened to Johnny Cash and The Doors was already a winner in his eyes.

On the other side of her room, a small dresser took up a corner and beside it were a few guitars leaning against the ugly stained wall of her apartment. A large stack of worn-out notebooks accompanied them on the floor.

He ran his fingers across the strings of a beautiful, apple red guitar that stood out from the group. It seemed she hadn't used it as it still had a tag with the words "_From J and little J" _scribbled with faded blue ink. He quickly wondered who had given her the guitar but didn't give it a second thought as he traced the letters on one of the notebooks on the floor.

_Songs for the Wolfman _it read.

He opened the notebook, feeling more like an ass with each second, but the curiosity was eating at him. The first page was covered with drawings of dream catchers and words that made no sense to him. They seemed too personal and not his and especially not for him to see. He was reading the words from a song, _"What have I become, my sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end..." _when the water in the shower stopped.

He shut the book, hurried to the kitchen, and found an old coffee pot, and soon the smell of fresh coffee took over the small apartment. He sat at the tiny table that adorned the center of the kitchen with a cup of his own. The light, bare footsteps coming his way made him sit up straight. It was amazing how her presence, or knowledge of her presence, made him jitter.

She walked into the kitchen, running her hands through her wet hair and wearing nothing but a large and oversized T-shirt.

Edward gulped and awkwardly stood up.

She stopped when she saw him and smirked.

She knew. She knew she had him and he could see it on her face.

"Hey, you," she said with the smile obvious in her voice. "You stuck around for coffee, huh?"

Edward just nodded like an idiot. They were complete strangers, but she acted as if she had known him for years. Or at least, that's how Edward felt.

"That's cool." She yawned and walked over to the coffee pot. While she busied herself making a cup, Edward stared at her long pale, beautiful legs.

He stared at how her wet hair soaked her T-shirt and at the small tattoo on her ankle. He remembered licking that pretty butterfly and other parts of her body…suddenly he didn't think it was a good idea to stand. He sat down and cleared his throat.

She spun around and leaned against the counter, blowing air into her cup.

"You know, Ed, you look like one of them models on the big ass billboards with your shirt like that. You damn show off," she teased, winking at him while she stared at his bare chest.

Edward glanced down at his shirt and cursed himself mentally for not noticing how ridiculous he looked with his shirt unbuttoned, not that there were any buttons left. It was her fault. He shook his head and exhaled embarrassed air from his lungs.

"Ah don't worry, besides I don't mind you walking around like that, hunk. Anyway, I blame my animalistic, crazy-ass self for doing that to ya. I think I owe ya a shirt," she said, smiling into her coffee. She slurped some into her mouth, and Edward smiled to himself, thinking how horrified his mother would be by her.

She was perfect.

They sat in her tiny kitchen at her tiny table, talking once in a while. The things said weren't of great importance. He now knew her last name was Swan, she lived alone while her band mates- Seth, Leah and Paul lived two floors higher, and that she liked her coffee with too much sugar. It was disgusting, but he loved how much she moaned when she would take a drink and how the sugar shined on her pretty plump lips. He also enjoyed how much she giggled at his expense.

What he said about himself was the obvious, but she always seemed to find humor.

He was a lawyer. "A wealthy lawyer," she'd guessed and he didn't deny. She hadn't pressed for more and only settled to know his full name and a few things about his musical taste. She was obviously letting him know that she wasn't interested in his life or knowing if he liked walks on the beach. Though it hurt like hell, he was determined to make her see the real him and maybe she would give him a chance.

A chance at what?

He wasn't exactly sure himself. Maybe another night of great sex? Maybe just another cup of coffee or one more joke about him? Maybe just one more song…

"So I gotta head to rehearsal with my buddies. We have a show at a different bar tonight," she said and he got the clue that she was asking him to leave. He cleared his throat and stood up. She led him to the door and as he reached it, he awkwardly stood still, trying to find the right words to say his goodbye.

"Bella," he started.

What was he going to say? "Thanks for the great sex and cup of coffee?" Of course not, but he wasn't really good with words.

"Thanks for the coffee," he simply said, giving her an assuring smile.

She smiled back, gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as if they were buddies, and opened the door for him. She looked down at her feet as he passed by to exit.

He turned back and looked down at her. He knew she was trying to hide and avoid any more moments in which the truth came alive in their eyes.

She jumped as he reached for her with his hand, but closed her eyes as he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Have a good day," he whispered and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

She gasped and stared deeply into his green eyes. He said so much more with them, but she wasn't going to waste time on this poor fool. She needed to look away.

They stood there for longer than what she wanted and stared right into each other's eyes with no fear or second thoughts behind their eyes. There were no secrets just for that moment as brown met green.

She composed herself, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat and the "cool chick" returned. She smirked, but she knew that he could still see_ it_ in her eyes. She hid it by looking at her feet again.

"Yeah, you too, Ed," she said, shaking her head. She tried shaking whatever it was that he was doing out of her mind. And it worked; at least that's what she told herself. She wouldn't see him again anyway.

Edward drove in silence back to his apartment, back to his side of town and back to his life. He was afraid of letting the radio erase her from his memory, so he left it off. He cursed at himself for not finding an excuse to see her again. He thought of a million things to say while he drove. He didn't even realize when he arrived home. He took a long hot shower, lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling as if in it he would find the answer to his restless mind.

He fell asleep until the ringing of his phone brought him back to the world.

"So where did you go, mad man?" Emmett asked.

Edward sighed, remembering exactly where he had gone last night. He wished he could go back.

"Oh you know, around."

"You lying son of a bitch. Who was the lady?"

"Em, this is seriously none of your business."

"It was the singer? You lucky asshole! You don't know how many times I've tried to hit on her and every time I got rejected. How was it?"

"I'm not discussing my sex life with you."

"So you did bang her!" Emmett was loud. Annoyingly loud.

"Goddamit, Emmett! I have to go meet my parents. Have a wonderful day."

"Say hi to Mrs. Masen for me and to Tanya."Damn, Emmett knew how to get on Edward's nerves. Edward knew he only did it to piss him off. Emmett hated Tanya and Mrs. Elizabeth Masen hated him.

Every reunion or get-together, Edward had to defend poor Em from his mother's fiery hate and Tanya's snarky comments. It was getting old, but it wasn't Em's fault and for that Edward felt like an ass.

As Edward parked his Volvo in front of his parents' house, he sighed at the familiar feeling of melancholy that took over him when he visited the large mansion. Now the feeling was worse. _She_ didn't live in a place like this. This was the furthest thing from Bella.

"Hello, son," Mrs. Masen said as she gave him a quick hug. Edward smiled down at his mother and nodded at his father who had only glanced at him before returning his eyes to the newspaper.

While they waited for the Denalis to arrive for lunch, Edward sat with his parents on their patio. He blocked his mother's voice out of his mind and his eyes concentrated on the elegant cloth that decorated the small lunch table.

He thought of Bella. He thought of her brown eyes and beautiful voice. He wondered if she had recorded anything. He shook his head. He was being pathetic, but also a desperate man. It had only been a few hours since he had seen her and he was already losing his mind.

"Edward?" His mother's voice brought him back to his unfortunate reality. "Where are you, Son? Tanya and her parents are here."

He looked up to find the perfect and beautiful Denali family looking down at him. He stood up and shook Mr. Denali's hand and kissed both Tanya and her mother on the cheek out of formality.

All of the Denalis had blonde hair and big blue eyes. Tanya was tall, sun-tanned, slim, gorgeous, and wealthy. She was the perfect catch. Her father had been Mr. Masen's business partner for years, so she made sense. Edward's mother loved her and couldn't stop complimenting her eyes, clothes, smile, and everything else besides the air she breathed.

Edward didn't pay attention or couldn't care less. His eyes were back to being glued to the tablecloth. His mind was back with Bella.

"So how about it, Edward?" Mrs. Masen asked.

Edward looked at his mother in confusion.

"About what?"

Mrs. Masen let out a nervous giggle while Mr. Masen eyed his son.

"Oh, Edward, you're so funny. December 10th! Doesn't it sound perfect?" she asked and Edward just nodded.

_Whatever_…

/~/

His hands twitched and his feet tapped the floor like crazy. It had been four days. He had to see her again.

He had thought she had been a good memory-the kind that makes you smile when you think about it.

Maybe he could get over her. Yeah, he would just give it a few days and she would be gone. She would be part of the past.

But every day, there she was. In his thoughts at work, in his wet dreams, and in his imagination as he whacked off, she was there. It wasn't healthy. This obsession wasn't healthy and he knew it. But it wasn't like he could control it.

He could still smell her on him. He could still remember how she felt in his hands. How she felt naked and beautiful for him. He body lacked of rest and his mind of sleep.

Finally, Thursday afternoon after work, Edward sped to the other side of Seattle. He had to see her. He would make up a story of how he forgot his nonexistent watch at her place. Yeah, that sounded like a plausible story.

Edward found himself pounding on her door. She hadn't opened in the last three minutes. He didn't know why he kept at it. It was obvious she wasn't home.

"She ain't there, you poor fool," an old black woman yelled at him.

"Sorry, ma'am, I mean...do you know where she is?"

"Beats me," she huffed. "That woman is wild with her loud music and Indian looking friends coming out of her place all the time. I think they work that Indian voodoo crap on others." The lady slipped back into her apartment, and Edward gave one last frustrated knock on her door.

Nobody answered.

/~/

She was real. She had been very real of that he was sure. Why else would he be feeling so fucked up without seeing her? It was as if he was going through withdrawals. His body ached and his mind was bruised and restless.

"Hey, Emmett, you gonna go to that bar again?" Edward asked as he walked into Emmett's office Friday afternoon.

Emmett was distracted with some paperwork and took a few very long moments to answer.

"Jerry's?" he mumbled.

"Yes, are you?" Edward was trying to hide his impatience with his friend, but it was painfully obvious to Emmett.

He chuckled at the dumbass.

"Yeah, I go every Friday night. Why? You wanna see _your_ singer again?" Emmett waggled his eyebrows and Edward rolled his eyes.

"Just tell me, damnit!"

"Yes, shit yes. You're an asshole, you know."

"Good, see you there," Edward stated and left Emmett's office. He would need to finish his work before he could go.

The bar was crowded just the same as last week. The same bartender was there and even nodded at Edward as he passed by. The stage was empty and the jukebox played some song he didn't know.

"When does the first show come on?" Edward asked and Emmett rolled his eyes.

"In about five minutes, bro. You need to calm the fuck down. Chicks don't dig desperate dudes," Emmett said, taking a long swig from his beer.

"I don't care what you think chicks 'dig.' I just need to see her again." Edward was annoyed, but mostly moody. It hadn't been an easy week.

"Why don't you just have a beer while the love of your life gets ready to come out?" Emmett teased, handing Edward a cold beer.

Edward chugged the beer. He was suddenly very thirsty. The music from the jukebox stopped, and the bar's manager came on to the stage. Everyone cheered while raising their beers to him.

"Hey, folks, I hope you're having a good time. The first band, you know them and you love her, please give a warm welcome to Marie!" he announced. The crowd cheered louder, and Edward took the time to get closer to the stage.

It was impossible to get any closer as everyone was doing the same and Edward was stuck. He settled for the view he could get when Bella walked out to the stage, followed by her usual band mates.

"Hey, guys. I'm Marie," she said into the microphone, and the crowd once again showed their love for her. She smirked at them and waved, not once noticing Edward in the crowd. 'This song is Little Lion Man' by Mumford and Sons. Hope you like a gal's take on it." She started strumming her acoustic guitar while the band followed after a few seconds.

_Weep for yourself, my man  
You'll never be what is in your heart  
Weep little lion man  
You're not as brave as you were at the start  
Rate yourself and rape yourself  
Take all the courage you have left  
Wasted on fixing all the problems  
That you made in your own head_

But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?

The crowd roared at the word "fucked," and Marie smiled at them while bouncing on her feet as the song became fast and upbeat. She strummed a little harder and sung a little deeper.

_But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?_

The guitarist sung the backup vocals while Marie continued to get lost in the song. She tapped her foot and moved her head to the beat of the song.

Edward smiled. She was so much more beautiful than what he remembered. Tonight she wore a black denim jacket, a white Beatles T-shirt and another pair of tight jeans that Edward loved. Her chestnut hair cascaded around her shoulders and flowed with her every movement. He didn't know how he was supposed to forget about her. Was it really required of him? How? It seemed impossible.

She played a few more songs, not once noticing him in the crowd. She waved goodbye, gathered her guitar and left the stage.

Edward went to the bar and informed Jerry that he would buy Marie's drinks. Jerry laughed and said that he could have waited as someone else would have offered anyway. She hadn't paid for her own drinks in years. Edward chuckled, ignoring the hint of jealousy building inside him. It was ridiculous that he felt like this. It wasn't as if she wasn't obviously beautiful and she wasn't his.

She wasn't his.

He waited a few minutes until the brunette passed by him to sit at the bar.

"Here you go, Marie," Jerry said, handing her a few shots of what Edward assumed to be tequila.

"Thanks, Jerry. Who was it this night?" she asked and downed one of the shots.

"That guy," Jerry said, pointing at Edward.

Bella turned to look in his direction and froze when she noticed it was him.

He quickly slid to her side and raised his hands in defense.

"I know you must think I'm some kind of creep or asshole who can't get the clue, but you can't tell me what happened last week wasn't amazing," he said and she huffed in annoyance.

"What is it that you want?" she asked and neared him completely, bumping into his chest with her body. Her face was inches away from his. "Another night? Huh? Do you want me? Do you want to fuck me?" she whispered seductively into his ear. She took his ear lobe into her mouth and gave him playful bite.

He knew she was just testing him and trying to get him to fall on his knees, but he knew her well enough to know this was an act.

"Do you want me?" he asked nervously.

She giggled. She took a few steps back and took another shot of tequila.

"Ed, you're everything a gal could ask for."

"Then what is it? What's holding you back?"

"I don't wanna be anybody's girlfriend or booty call, Ed!" she said sternly. "I got my life and I ain't sharin'. You got that?" She took another shot and before Edward could say anything else, she darted out the bar.

But he was right behind her.

"I don't want a girlfriend," he pressed.

"I don't want to be your…"

"You want me," he stated and stopped in front of her path. "And I want you." He neared her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to his body.

Edward felt it then. The ache in his chest he had been feeling, it was gone. She made it go away. He ran his hands up and down her sides and pressed his lips to her ear. He smiled when he heard her sigh and felt her tremble. "I want you and you want me." He pressed his lips to her neck. He pulled back and took her face into his hands.

They looked into each other's eyes. There it was again- that damned feeling that took over him and he knew she could feel it, too, because she quickly tried to hide it.

She chuckled and nodded as if he was right.

He knew he was right.

"Rules," she simply said.

"Rules?"

"Yes, rules, you damn fool," she said and pulled away from him. "You don't question anything I do or forbid me to do anything. You don't call me to cry. You don't call me, period. You can stay the night, but only if you're shit-faced out of your mind. You don't buy me things or ask me for anything. You don't get to know me or ask about my family or friends, and if I ain't in the mood, I ain't in the mood. Now take me home; my goddamn truck is still in the shop." And with that she started walking toward Edward's car, lighting a cigarette on the way.

She should've said no.

Edward, the poor fool, would one day wish she had…

**As usual, let me know what you think. **

**I just love this Bella! She will make you curse and you will hate her at times, but I truly enjoy writing her. After two chapters what are your thoughts on her?**


	3. Waiting For The Sun

**Hello world. Here is chapter 3. **

**Thanks to all of you who review. It's the only way I know I'm doing a good job.**

**Thank you to Adt216** **and** **ajr818 for making this presentable. You guys are totally cool.**

**The song for this chapter is "Terrible Love" by The National. A fitting song.**

Chapter 3-Waiting for the Sun

Oh, how the high ceiling held his interest.

The water stain at the far right corner was perfect. He couldn't imagine that corner without that stain.

He couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

He turned to look at the woman at his side.

She also stared at the ceiling trying to catch her breath. The way her chest move up and down made Edward sigh and crave more. It had only been a few seconds since he had withdrawn from her, but every part of her called to him.

It wasn't like it was his fault for his desperate need for her. He had imagined and dreamt of her body for a whole week. He was only indulging in what he had been deprived of for so long.

Bella closed her eyes and pulled the covers up to cover her breasts. She looked so peaceful and beautiful like that. Eyes closed, mouth slightly opened, damp hair and expressionless face. She was perfect.

Edward moved to lie on his side to get a better look. Surely she knew he was staring at her, but she didn't say anything. He studied every detail of her face and neck. There was a small scar on her temple, hardly visible, and her nose was short and adorable. Her full, pouty lips and lightly freckled cheeks were dangerous. Dangerous for Edward, as he knew what was happening to him, and it wasn't happening to her.

Of that he was sure.

He lightly traced the length of her collarbone, up her neck to her cheeks. She slowly opened her eyes, stared at the interesting ceiling again and gulped.

"Goddamnit, Ed," she whispered to herself. Her eyes sadly looked at that damn water stain as if asking it for some goddamn answers.

He knew the reason for her frustration, but he wasn't holding back. He couldn't care less what she thought was best.

She turned to him. Her same sad eyes glared at him for a moment too long, but she attacked his mouth anyway.

Why the fuck not?

Her tongue traced his lips before sneaking into his mouth.

He groaned and wrapped his large arms around her small body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him to her wet heat, distracting him completely.

_Why couldn't he see it? Fucking A. Didn't he see what she was trying to do? What a damn fool_.

He ripped the sheets off her body and deepened the kiss. His cock's tip entered her. She quickly pushed him back, grabbed another condom, rolled it onto him and pulled him down so quickly and hard into her, he barely saw any of it happen.

She grabbed onto the headboard and pulled herself up to thrust onto him. He groaned louder and helped her by getting up on his knees and slamming into her.

"Shit." She gasped and threw her head back into the pillow.

Edward continued thrusting into her with no mercy. Loving the way it looked, Edward stared at her face while he had his way with her. He licked her neck and chest, grinning like an idiot when he heard her moan. He looked downat where their bodies connected and groaned again as he witnessed his own cock moving in and out of her pussy.

"Holy…" He had no words.

"Hardly, baby," she said breathlessly. "But close…oh, so fucking close."

A few minutes later he pulled out and once again stared at the goddamn stain while he tried to catch his breath. He was almost back to normal when he heard her giggle.

"Shit, Ed, what do you have down there?" she said, still out of breath. "You're like the Energizer Bunny but sexier. I'm beginning to think this idea of yours is fuckawesome." She sat up and wrapped herself in the robe she had spent five minutes looking for - while completely naked – as Edward stared.

"I'll be back, baby," she said grabbing a box of cigarettes and headed out to her balcony.

Edward looked around her room. He couldn't even remember how they got to her bed. He had been too focused on her tongue in his mouth.

She lit a cigarette and stared out into the city. The wind blew her hair and the smoke from her cigarette. She was trying to not lose herself in that room. The city provided a much needed escape.

Edward's heavy eyelids began to close.

He wondered how much longer she would give him before she kicked him out. Maybe she would let him rest his eyes for a while. He turned around in the bed and found her pillow, wrapped an arm around it and buried his face into it. He inhaled her unique, amazing scent and closed his eyes.

Just a few minutes of rest was all he needed.

He fell asleep. He thought he had woken up once to find Bella lying next to him, staring at him with a sweet smile on her face and soft eyes while lightly caressing his forehead with her fingertips. Maybe he was dreaming.

Yeah, he must have been dreaming.

Edward dreamt of shit he wouldn't remember the next morning but would leave his mind restless, until he felt a soft hand touching his chest. The small hand then began to shake him.

"Yo, Ed, wake up."

He slowly opened his eyes to find a beautiful Bella staring down at him as she sat at the bed's edge.

"Hey, you. Come on, I wanna show you something," she whispered in the dark and jumped up. She was fully clothed in a pair of sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt.

Edward glanced at the clock on her nightstand and groaned when he realized it was only 5 AM He sat up and rubbed his face trying to chase away the fatigue. He scrunched up his face when he found Bella putting a coat on.

"Where are you going?" he asked. He cleared his throat when he realized it was full of sleep.

"_We_ are going out. Come on, dude, it'll be fun. Get your ass up," she said as she slipped on a pair of sneakers. She threw Edward his shirt when he couldn't find it under all her clothes and mess. She grabbed a large leather case and a record after stuffing her pocket with something he didn't get a chance to see.

"Here," she said, giving him the large and heavy case. "Be a man, and carry this for me." She grabbed her keys and a blanket then headed out.

Edward guessed that he should follow her.

She locked the door to her apartment and smiled at Edward when she noticed the confused look on his face and his unzipped pants.

"You look sexy with sex hair. It suits ya," she said and headed for the exit.

It felt good outside. The cool breeze felt great on his hot skin, but it only reminded him of why he was so hot. He stared at Bella's ass as she led him to a broken down building. The streets were empty as he supposed they would be at this time, and the melancholy of the lifeless town overcame him.

She walked around the abandoned building and pulled down an old, rusty ladder. She was starting to climb when he panicked.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked.

What the hell was wrong with this woman?

"Climbing, obviously. All that prep school didn't help you figure that out, Ed? Come on! We don't have much time."

He didn't say anything else and, with one arm holding the heavy case and the other holding onto the ladder, followed Bella to the roof of the building.

She set the blanket and record down then took the heavy case from Edward's arms.

"Thanks," she said and placed it on the ground. She opened it, and Edward realized it was a portable record player.

"You know, they have things such as iPods, MP3s and CD players. They even have cassette players. One of those would be less heavy."

"Oh, shut the hell up, Ed." She laughed and took the black vinyl record out of its case and placed it onto the player. "Record players sound much better and are much sexier. Besides, why in the world would I choose any of those evil devices over this baby?" She patted the record player, making Edward chuckle.

"Roadhouse Blues"by The Doors started playing, and Bella smiled at him when he started to nod to the song.

"You have to love Jim Morrison. You just have to," she said and sat on top of the blanket. "Come on, Ed." She patted the spot on the ground next to her.

"It's 5:30 in the morning, woman. Aren't you tired?" he asked, rubbing the cold from his arms.

"Of course I am." She sighed dramatically. "After what you did to me, I'm fucking exhausted, but it don't mean I have to or can sleep. Besides, life is too short to be wastin on things like sleep. Just sit your ass next to me for a little while. Then you can go home, and get your damn sleep, pussy."

He sighed loudly and planted himself next to her, not appreciating her insult.

"I'm just a damn human. Not all of us are crazy assed like you," he muttered, making her giggle.

"Oh hell, just keep quiet for a little while! You're ruining the moment." She took a small bag out of her pocket, and Edward became wide-eyed when he realized what it was.

"Jesus Christ! Is that pot?"

"Yeah, you old square! Want some?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him, and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"How old are we, 15?" He laughed.

"Just cause we're old, don't mean we can't enjoy some reefer from time to time." She professionally rolled a joint and lay on her back.

Edward followed and rested his head on his hands.

She lit the joint, took a hit and let the smoke escape through her nose.

"Shit. She sighed. "I haven't had one in months. Here, you can have some," she said and handed Edward the joint.

He took it with his fingers and stared at the small thing from hell.

"I haven't done this since college," he said, put it between his lips and took a light hit.

"Well, it can't be that long ago. How old are you, Ed?" she asked and giggled as Edward coughed handing her back the joint.

"I'm 26. I'll be 27 in a few weeks," he said.

"That's young still."

"How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well ,Ed, I feel like I'm at least fifty with the shit I've been through and how crazy I am, but I'm only 23."

"You look 23."

"Well, I am." She giggled and took another hit from her joint handing it back to him.

"You act older, though. I don't know. Even sound older," he said and took another hit.

"Well, that's life, Edward. Sometimes it just throws shit at you while you're a kid. It makes you bitter and cold. It makes you age."

The sad look on her face disappeared when 'Waiting for the Sun' started to play from the record player, and Edward jumped when Bella" woo-hoo'd" and started clapping her hands.

She was crazy alright.

"This is my favorite song from this album, Ed. Jim's voice does things to me." She sighed and closed her eyes.

"_At first flash of Eden. We race down to the sea. Standing there on freedom's shore. Waiting for the sun. Waiting for the sun. Waiting for the sun," _she sung with her eyes closed and ahand on her chest.

Edward smiled at her love for music. He loved the way the artery in her neck popped out with her powerful voice and the way her eyebrows moved with the words she said.

"You have a beautiful voice," he said, and she opened her eyes to him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"My papa pushed me to sing when I was nine. He said I was gonna rock it." She laughed at the bittersweet memory. "Now I sing in bars and small joints around Washington, California, and sometimes Texas."

"I think you're amazing. Maybe you just haven't gotten famous yet."

"Ed, I don't care about getting famous. I just meant that it's not what my papa wanted. He wanted me to be his princess. He doesn't understand. But my mother is worse, so I'll just shut up."

Edward was surprised she was opening up so much. It was dangerous ground, but he wanted more.

"Are they still around…your folks," he asked, and she nodded.

"Around as in alive and kicking? Yeah, they are. They are getting gray, old, and bitter in Forks. Shitty ass town," she muttered and took another hit from the joint, angrily blowing the smoke out her lungs.

She didn't seem to like the subject, so he didn't push it.

"Since when do you do this? Lie on top of roofs and get high?" he asked, and she giggled.

"I'm not a pot head, Edward. I do this once in a while. It's fun."

He nodded in agreement.

"I used to do this a lot when I was a teen. My parents, shitheads, loved to argue about everything. I would climb out my window with a cassette player and headphones, lie on top of my roof, and forget about them and everyone else while listening to some Doors, Dylan or Johnny Cash. Pretty fucking sweet and sad, I know. But I love getting away for time to myself."

"I wish I was as creative as you when I was a kid," Edward said. "I would just sit in my room and listen to my parents argue and brood about it." He laughed bitterly and glanced at her.

She was studying his face with a small smile on her lips.

"Yes, rich people have daddy and mommy issues too," he mumbled, causing her to laugh.

"Hell they do. Just wish I could have known you then. You could have counted on me for some pot," she teased, and he rolled his eyes. "I remember once I fell off the roof. It wasn't that high up, but I busted my knee. My mother cried and fucking yelled all at once at me, but all I kept thinking was, 'will I be able to climb up the roof in a knee brace?' I sure as hell tried." She laughed and shook her head.

"You did?" he asked.

"I did. She sighed and suddenly sat up. "It's coming, Ed, get your ass up."

"What is?" he asked sitting up.

"The sunrise. It looks amazing from here." She walked to the edge of the building and sat down.

"Be careful," he warned, and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, old man, now get over here."

He sat next to her and stared at what had her attention. The sun began to rise from behind the trees and the Seattle buildings. He hadn't realized how open the sky looked from the top of this building. The light began slowly at first but finally brought life to the city. Edward sighed at the beauty and glanced at Bella who equally looked as beautiful with the sun's light.

"_Kwop kilawtley_, little J," she whispered lowly and closed her eyes. She sniffed, and a single tear ran down her pretty cheek.

Edward wanted to know why she cried, comfort her and know what those words meant, but she quickly stood up and started to walk away.

"Let's go, Ed."

The days passed, and Edward lost himself at work. It was the only way he could stop thinking about the brunette on the other side of town.

Tanya called him every night, like normal girlfriends do, but Edward didn't understand why she did it. It wasn't like they had a lot to talk about. They had been dating since his last year of law school, and it had never been a passionate relationship. At first, he thought he liked her and obviously was attracted to her, but she lacked something he couldn't identify. After the first night, it just didn't feel right, but his mind insisted it could work.

He didn't give up, and after that, it just became routine.

"So, where are we going?" Tanya asked as he drove down the streets of Seattle. She looked beautiful tonight with her strawberry blonde hair curtained around her shoulders and in a short black dress.

"That place you like." He didn't remember if she liked it anymore, but when she showed her joy by giggling, he sighed in relief.

Dinner was full of chatter by her about the Mallorys and Newtons and their investments houses in Hawaii and Europe.

Edward stared at his wine glass, running his index finger around the rim, while singing Mumford and Sons in his head.

"I'm going to go shopping with your mother tomorrow," she said as he walked her to her door. "Do you want to go and have lunch with us?"

He cleared his throat, shaking his head. "No, I can't. Work is a load, but thank you."

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders in disappointment. "Oh well. Do you want to come in?"

He should say yes. He should be a normal boyfriend and have sex with his gorgeous girlfriend. He should act like he was supposed to.

But she wasn't _it_. Her world and his world didn't fit.

"Not tonight, Ta."

"It's okay." She didn't press. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

Lips that weren't for her.

"I'll see you this weekend," he assured her and walked away.

Friday night had Edward in that shitty bar again.

"Hey, Edward," Jerry, the bartender, greeted him.

"The same as last time," Edward said, and Jerry chuckled.

"Alright, man, but she's a tough one."

Bella came on stage with her band mates and a guitar in hand. She found him in the crowd and winked at him.

Edward noticed right away something was different with her. There were dark circles under her reddened eyes, and she didn't look focused. She looked wobbly on her feet as if she would fall at any second. Her hair was somewhat of a mess, and her clothes were wrinkled.

"Hey, folks, I'm Marie. This song here is 'Terrible Love' by The National," she said, and her voice trembled a little.

This time the song started with the drums which were followed by the bass and guitar.

_It's a terrible love  
That I'm walking with spiders  
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in  
It's a terrible love  
That I'm walking with spiders  
It's a terrible love and I'm walking in  
It's quiet a company  
It's quiet a company_

… _And I can't fall asleep  
Without a little help  
It takes awhile  
To settle down  
My ship of hopes  
Wait till the past lets by_

She closed her eyes and strummed her guitar. She swayed side to side and lost herself in the music.

The girl who played the other guitar glanced at Bella with a concerned look on her face, but Bella was oblivious to her friend's concern and continued to play.

The song ended, and Bella finally opened her eyes and stumbled back a few steps. The girl held her by the arm, shook her head, and looked at the drummer for answers, but he just shrugged. Bella clumsily pulled away from the girl's grip and stumbled to the microphone.

"How about another song?" she asked, and the crowd cheered, ignoring what had happened.

The band played an unknown, upbeat song that Bella swayed to and sung with her eyes closed and a sweaty, saddened face. She didn't look well at all. When Bella was about to announce another song, the girl and the bass player pulled her away from the microphone and waved at the crowd pretending everything was normal. They disappeared behind the stage.

Edward squeezed his way through the crowd and bypassed the security guard who was busy flirting with some blonde.

"This is so like you, Isabella. Always fucking things up!" the drummer yelled at her.

Bella was sitting on the floor with her head down, looking like she could barely hold herself up.

"You couldn't wait to get fucked up until _after_ the show?"

"Paul, quit yelling at her. It isn't like she's paying you any attention," the girl said.

"I…I am pa-paying attention, Leah. Shit, I have a few drinks…and maybe some other stuff." Bella giggled. "And you guys act…like…like uh… ugh like it's the end of the fucking world."

The bass player didn't say anything and just stared at Bella with pity in his eyes.

"This show was important. You knew a record producer was in the crowd, and you show up looking like fucking Jim Morrison on a good day in the 60s!" Paul yelled again, and Bella giggled again. "You fucking laugh, but you just fucked up everything for all of us, not just you. You're so fucking selfish. What would Little J say if he was still around? Would he be proud of you?"

Bella's face crumbled and tears quickly gathered in her eyes.

"You fucking asshole!" Bella yelled angrily, trying to stand up, but it was all too much. She tumbled back and was about to fall on her ass when two strong arms caught her. She turned around to find a worried Edward looking down at her. "Edward? Thank the Lord you're here. Get me out of here please?" she begged, wiping the tears from her face. She held on to his expensive dress shirt so tightly as if it hurt to stand-as if it hurt too much to live. The pain in her face made Edward's chest ache.

Something was really wrong with this girl.

"Who the hell are you?" Paul asked, glaring at Edward as Leah rolled her eyes.

"He's my friend, and it's none of your fucking business," Bella cried and managed to balance herself on her own two feet.

"I swear, Bella, sometimes I want to choke you!"

"Don't say shit like that," Edward threatened.

"Oh, so the asshole speaks. What are you going to do, hero? Use your prep school on me? Go fuck yourself, Wonder bread. Besides, we were having a band meeting which means you need to get the fuck out."

"She isn't doing so well. Let me take her home." Edward tried to reason as Bella held on to his arm to steady herself, but Paul wasn't having it.

"No, let her go!" Paul shoved Edward, but he didn't see Edward's fist heading towards his face.

"I said to let me take her home, asshole." Edward turned to Bella as Paul grabbed his jaw. "Let me take you home, Bella."

"I'm not in the mood, Ed," she slurred. She hiccupped and rubbed her face.

"No, I don't want that. You need to go home and sleep this off."

She nodded at his words and gave him a sweet, drunken smile. She cupped his cheek with her trembling hand.

"You're a good friend, Ed," she muttered.

Before Edward could respond, someone pulled his shoulder and a fist landed squarely on his eye, knocking him out into the darkness.

It fucking hurt.

His head and his face. It felt like hell. He might have been exaggerating, but the shit did hurt.

He opened his eyes, and it took him a while for his eyes to adjust to the light. He groaned when he rubbed his face and went over his bruised eye. He caught the water stain in the corner of the ceiling, and he quickly sat up when he realized where he was.

The house was silent. The lights were on, but it was still dark outside. He turned to find a sleeping Bella, dressed only in a T-shirt damp from her wet hair, on his side.

His shirt was unbuttoned, and his shoes were off. He wondered how the hell she got him all the way to her bed.

There was pack of ice on the nightstand, and he guessed it was for him. He grabbed it and put it to his eye.

"Shit," he groaned when he realized it hurt more and lay on his back.

How the hell did he get here? Why in the fuck did he get in a fight with an asshole he didn't know and looked twice his size?

"Edward," she whimpered into her pillow.

That's why.

"Hey, you," she said in a groggy voice. He turned to his side and moved a strand from her messy hair behind her ear.

She sweetly smiled at him and covered his hand with hers.

"How did you get me here?" he asked.

"Your friend. Emmett is his name. I think…I don't remember much," she said and blushed. "Sorry you had to see me like that. I'm not usually like that."

"Why were you like that?"

"Shit, Edward. Shit and I'm a weak person. That's all," she simply said in a low voice and closed her eyes. She fell asleep with his hand on her cheek.

He removed it and sighed at the warmth it still held. He fell asleep wondering how he was going to get through to this girl to know what the hell was going on.

Why did he care? She was just a fuck buddy. But as his eyes closed from the exhaustion he felt, the image of her peaceful face stayed engraved in his mind, and he dreamt of her. The strange feeling in his chest grew in his sleep.

He woke up to the strumming of a guitar.

It was nine in the morning, and the sun welcomed him back into the world.

He stood up and still in a sleepy state, stumbled to the source of the noise.

She sat on the floor of her living room with a guitar in her lap. She still wore that T-shirt from last night and nothing else. Her hair was a mess from sleeping on it wet, and she looked a little hung over but still was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

_Sorry I'm only  
Human you know me  
Grown up oh no guess again_

_My days always_  
_Dry up and blow away_  
_Sometimes I could do that too_  
_But make no mistake that_

_When you need a friend_  
_You could count on anyone_  
_But you know I'll defend_  
_The tragedy that we knew as_  
_The end_

She swayed back and forth with her eyes closed, feeling every note in her body and soul.

Edward stared at how she let the music take over. How beautiful and broken she was.

_So taking you with me would be like  
Taking all your money to the grave  
It does no good to anyone especially  
The one you're trying to save  
But it's so hard not to save_

Edward took those words to his heart.

**Please let me know what you think. Next update soon as I'm done with my first story :)**

**P.S What the heck is up with Bella?**


	4. The E String

**Hello world! **

**So I updated! OMSTEW! School is out for summer! Yey! College=yuck. **

**Anywho, I will def be updating more often.**

**Thanks to itsange and Great Chemistry for being such great betas. These chicks really know their stuff.**

**Here is some more self destructive Bella and bored-with-life Ed :) **

* * *

Chapter 4-The E String

"Edward, what in God's name happened to your eye?" Mrs. Masen asked incredulously as he made his way to the breakfast table. Breakfast with his parents on the weekends was now a routine. Not a pleasure. Just like everything else in his life.

"I fell. Nothing more." He sighed. He served himself orange juice while Mr. and Mrs. Masen stared at him.

"You have to be more careful, Edward. I know you didn't fall. It was probably because you were with that McCarty boy."

"Emmett has nothing to do with my bruised eye, Mother. Please just drop it."

"Fine, but please make sure nobody sees you with that eye. What will people think? Anyway, do tell us if you and Tanya have made plans about the…"

"Mother, I don't wish to talk about that either. I have a headache." He didn't know why he even bothered to avoid the conversation. She would talk about _it _anyway.

"I just think that you two need to start making plans. Before you know it, it's December and you will be so behind," Mrs. Masen said while her husband just nodded in agreement.

Not that he really cared.

Edward didn't know if his mind played tricks on him for his own good. He never remembered about December until his mother or Tanya brought it up. It was as if nothing would happen. Everybody kept talking about it, but it never woke anything up in his mind. December held nothing of interest to him.

They were crazy.

He knew if he kept pretending nothing was going to happen in December, it wasn't going to change anything. But he couldn't come to terms with reality. He would continue to put it off in his mind. Maybe, just maybe, it would go away.

Maybe.

_/~/_

It smelled like her.

The bed sheets and pillow felt like hers.

Edward groaned into his pillow and fluttered his eyes open. He slowly realized he wasn't in his own room. He wasn't even in his own home. He was, in fact, in her apartment. He sat up, stretched his sore limbs and rubbed his eyes. The way the sheets felt on his skin made him realize he was naked.

He smiled as the memories of last night played in his mind. He searched for her, the guilty one, but quickly found her room empty. He got up, found his boxers and made it to the restroom to clean up.

The image in the dirty mirror, which barely hung from her bathroom wall, didn't resemble the man he thought he was. His hair wasn't in the style he always wanted. It was too prep, too clean and too_ them_. He washed his face and ran his hands through his hair. The gel made it hard and impossible to move. He gathered water in his hands and baptized it to the mess he really wanted. He chuckled to himself and exited the bathroom to find her.

The clock on her nightstand glared at him.

Already noon.

She would kick him out soon.

He walked around and over her clothes that still lay on the floor and made it to the small kitchen hoping to find her.

Find her he did, but what he saw made him stop before he could say his good morning.

She sat at her table, wearing his shirt with a bottle of whiskey and a small plastic bag of pills in front of her. She silently sobbed into her arms as if trying her best to keep it from him. But that was impossible.

Her curled brown hair cascaded around her, covering her pain and pathetic state. But the way her small shoulders shook and the occasional loud whimper betrayed her.

Edward stood there for a few minutes just staring at the pained and very broken woman in front of him. Not knowing what to do, he stepped back into her room and sat on her bed.

_What does one do when your fuck buddy looks to be in trouble?_

He asked himself over and over as he just sat there, staring at her panties on the floor. He cursed at his inability to think of something. He stomped his foot on the floor and jumped when he heard something vibrate with sound from under the bed.

He reached down and his fingers wrapped around the neck of the old guitar that he had found.

He stared at it and remembered how badly he wanted one when he was a kid. Mrs. Masen didn't approve of his love for rock music and discouraged the idea of a guitar. Edward brooded and whined, but he never got the goddamn guitar.

He ran his fingertips over the strings and wooden neck. He placed it in his lap ready to play, smiling to himself and trying so hard not to think of the girl in the other room. He strummed with his thumb, but a horrible sound was produced from of his lack of talent and knowledge of it.

He pressed down on the thickest string and strummed only that string, but it still didn't sound right. He huffed and was going to try it again when her sultry voice made him jump.

"You have to press down harder on it. Don't be a pussy," she said. He could see her nipples through the fabric of the shirt. Hey naval and the pale skin of her belly visible as the last buttons were ignored caught his eyes. It was long on her, covering the parts he longed to see again, but left her long legs bare for him to admire. Her hair was a mess and her red, droopy eyes product of her self destruction made him pity.

She didn't give a fuck.

She walked over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Here," she slurred, placing two of his fingers on the thickest string. "This here is the 'E' string."

He just stared at her red eyes and the dark circles under them, not giving a shit about the guitar. She was oblivious to his attention and stared at what she was trying to get her fucked up head to do.

_Teaching Ed about the guitar, that's what._

He shook his head. _How could she do this to herself?_

With trembling hands, she slid his fingers over each string, naming them for him. He nodded and didn't say anything to her. He didn't point it out. He tried to ignore it, but the worry clouded his mind.

"This is the 'A' string. This one here is the 'D' and then its 'G.' The last and thinnest one is again called the 'E' string, Why? Fuck if I know, but that's what it's called. It's a high and loud sounding fucker. Whiny too." She acted as if nothing was wrong.

He looked at her in the face and tried asking with his eyes what was wrong, but she ignored him and continued to play with his fingers. Her right breast was now viewable to him as the shirt slipped off her shoulder.

"Show me," he whispered. She arched an eyebrow, but that wasn't what he meant. "Show me how to play."

She swayed a little and nodded.

She clumsily placed his fingers on different strings and frets and showed him how and when to strum. It was the beginning of "Superstar" by The Carpenters. He knew it even if she didn't say it. He recognized the song that had brought him to her.

He played the same part over and over again, as she hadn't taught him how to move on. Instead, she started kissing his neck. He sighed as he felt her wet lips reach the back of his ear. She sucked and nipped at his ear making him hard.

But he just kept playing.

She licked his jaw and huffed when he didn't get the clue.

But he did get it. He wanted nothing more to push her back on the bed and have his way with her, but something inside of him felt guilty. He felt pain. The stupid part of everything was that he couldn't come up with a reason for his guilt or pain.

She stood up, swaying back and forth and with clumsy hands pulled the shirt off her body leaving her naked to him. She bit her lip and waited for him to take her. To make her feel good. He was the only one that did that.

But Edward moved his eyes away from her beautiful body and concentrated on the neck of the guitar once again.

She sighed.

"Show me how to play the rest of the song," he said. He fought against his body's needs.

She groaned in annoyance and returned to his side on the bed.

"Then will you finally give me what I want? Will you fuck me?"

He nodded and she rolled her eyes.

She spent 50 minutes teaching him how to play the damn song in the nude. She was very patient even when he fucked up, which was often. He didn't know if it was the drugs or booze, but she would restart from the beginning and never complain.

He finally got the hang of the song-or at least he thought-when Bella pulled the guitar out of his hands, placed it on the floor, pushed him back on the bed and seductively crawled over him. She attacked his mouth, and he could taste the liquor on her lips. She licked and nipped his chin, lips and ran her hands over his chest. He groaned when he felt her hand grab his erection through his boxers.

"Enough of the free guitar lessons, Ed, and fuck your teacher," she said breathlessly in his ear. She took it into her mouth when suddenly he pulled her down on her back to hover over her.

She giggled and pulled his face to hers so she could kiss him. Their tongues danced and their hands roamed. He pulled her knee up and took one thrust into her.

"Shit, baby."

She pulled his boxers down in a hurry, begging him to take her. He entered her, grunting when he felt her wet tightness around his length. She moaned and arched her back while looking into his eyes. The look in her eyes was so fucking sad. She was so fucking sad.

Edward felt the guilt again and tried to pull away. This didn't feel right with her like this, but she held onto his body for dear life.

"Don't, Edward. Please! I need it. I need you," she whispered with a lump in her throat. "If you don't give me this, I'll just drink myself into oblivion. I'll get so fucked up to the point where I'm numb. I'm tired of that. I'm tired of being numb, but the pain won't go away and it's too strong. You make me feel good. You make it go away. Make it go away."

He crashed his lips into hers and began to move. He moved, kissed and licked like never before. Her pleas and words in his mind and the look of sadness engraved in his soul.

Afterwards, he lay by her side, trying to control his breathing. She had her eyes closed and her hands buried in her hair.

"You know, I always wanted to be a rock star when I was a kid," he said and she snapped her eyes open at his randomness. "I would dress in black and listen to Metallica in my cassette player over and over again. I had long hair, wore black leather wrist bands, claimed to be in a rock band and thought I was the shit. I didn't even know how to play an instrument." He chuckled at himself. He turned to face Bella and found her staring at him with a warm smile on her face.

She ran her hand over his chest and stopped over his heart. "You are a rock star, Ed," she said and placed her head on his abdomen.

A few minutes later he heard her breath even out.

She was asleep.

Again, she didn't kick him out.

/~/

"You know, I kinda like blondes," Emmett said. He and Edward had gone to a local deli for lunch. Emmett always seemed to have his eyes on the women passing by.

"How is that relevant to anything?" Edward questioned. "You fuck anything that moves."

Emmett let out a loud chuckle. "For your information, Mr. Masen, I happen to have preferences."

"Oh, I'm sorry. How idiotic of me." Edward smiled at his friend.

"Blondes are hot and fun. Brunettes are too deep and tortured for my liking. They're sexy and smart, but they are always so uptight. They have brains and actually use them. It's too complicated. They're no fun."

"I have to disagree."

"How is that? Your girlfriend is a blonde…wait!" Emmett jumped at his sudden epiphany. "Are you talking about your singer?"

"Oh, fuck, just forget about it," Edward said, trying to waive the conversation away.

"Fuck you are! So how is Marie in the sack?"

"Emmett…"

"Don't have to give me details. Just tell me, great or bad."

"Great."

"Wow, I guess my theory is wrong. But is she a head case? You know, serious issues and shit. That night when I took you to her place, she seemed zoned out. She looked kinda wasted. She didn't say anything to me. She just said 'thanks,' pointed at her bed to lay you down and disappeared into her restroom. Does she have issues?"

Edward shook his head and stared at his half sandwich. What the correct answer was, he didn't know.

"She's great," Edward said and Emmett widened his eyes.

"Please don't tell me you're falling for her? Dude, you know that shit is never good. You're supposed to be falling for your girlfriend. Besides, how can you trust a musician? You know she leaves Seattle at the end of the summer, right?"

Edward didn't respond. He just repeated Emmett's words over and over in his head.

_Don't tell me you're falling for her._

/~/

Tanya held his hand as they walked to the restaurant. She had been extremely chatty this afternoon and Edward let her continue. It did away with the awkwardness that had become of their relationship.

"So Daddy wants us to go to Europe and even though that sounds lovely, it is kind of tacky. I was thinking maybe Fiji or even somewhere in the Caribbean… or maybe India. That sounds interesting," she said and took a sip from her wine. "Edward, don't you have a suggestion?"

He shook his head and gave her a fake smile. "Anywhere you wanna go is fine with me. I'm sure you'll pick a great place."

She nodded in agreement and continued talking.

Edward stopped listening and spent the rest of the night nodding and giving one sentence answers.

He walked her to her door after dinner, and when she kissed him he responded. He felt bad that he had been avoiding her, so he fought with his mind and went for it. She had always been a good kisser and a sexy girl. He was a lucky man, but he was dead inside. She was safe and didn't have deep emotional issues, but she wasn't what he wanted. She wasn't interesting anymore.

Edward pulled back at the depressing thoughts and said his goodnight.

/~/

_Will she be wasted tonight? Will she let him see her? Would he want to have sex this time if she is?_

Edward downed the rest of his beer as he waited for Marie and the rest of the band to come on stage. It was strange calling her Marie now, but that was who she was on stage. She could be energetic and full of life or shed genuine tears for a sad love song. In reality, Bella was a different story.

Bella was feisty and careless. Bella was a broken mess he couldn't figure out.

On stage, Marie was a woman that sung about things she was sure about. She was sexy, confident, fun and talented.

Bella was an emotional girl with issues.

Edward wanted both.

He quickly made his way to the front of the stage when the crowd cheered the owner of the bar on as he made his way to the microphone.

"You know already know and love her, but she still deserves a warm welcome. Please give it up for Marie!" The crowd cheered louder, and Edward smiled.

She strutted to the microphone with a guitar in one hand and an attitude that assured everyone that she was a tough woman.

He wanted to look at her face. He would know what he to deal with once he saw her face.

She readied the guitar, looked up at her crowd and smiled.

"Hey folks, I'm Marie. This is 'If There Was No You,' by Brandi Carlile. Hope you like it." She was by herself on the stage. She looked beautiful and…well. There were no dark circles under her eyes, her hair was nicely curled, her clothes were clean, and she seemed present in her mind.

_When I see myself  
I'm seeing you too  
As long as I remember  
And I'm feeling like I knew  
That my jokes aren't funny  
The truth isn't true  
If there was no you_

_If you were my boat in the deep blue sea_  
_I probably sink you down_  
_I know I should have thanked you for carrying me_  
_But for you I will happily drown_

She looked in Edward's direction and when she spotted him, a wide smile spread across her face as she sung.

_Out on your way the darkest night the longest day  
I know what to say to make you laugh  
And nothing you could do  
Would make me turn my back on you  
When you're looking for a  
Fight I'm your man  
When you need a friend  
You got my hand_

She nodded and tapped her foot with the song as the entire bar was silent and completely lost in her voice and acoustic guitar. When the song finished, everybody woke up from their concentration and cheered her on.

Edward clapped and whistled like a dumb fan boy. He heard himself laugh and wondered how long it had been since he had done it.

Marie waved at the crowd and welcomed the rest of the band to the stage. She ran a hand through her hair and started strumming her guitar to the next song. It was unknown to Edward, but he tapped his foot to the upbeat song and smiled when she would encourage the crowd to clap along.

They played two more songs of the same happy and upbeat style and left the stage. Edward waited for her outside the exit of the backstage. He nodded at Seth, the bassist, and Leah, who only glared at him and left. Paul didn't even notice him when he passed.

When Edward spotted Bella, he whistled and she smiled at him.

"Hey, you," she said as she made it to his side. "Did you like the show?"she asked and he nodded.

"It was a fun show. I loved it."

She smiled at his confession.

"Good, because I picked those songs for you."

"Really?" He arched his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah, I thought I owed everyone, and especially you, a good show after my shitty performance last week." She seemed a bit embarrassed, and he automatically wanted to change that.

"I thought you sang with all your heart. It's all we can ask for as your fans," he said, and he could see the blush on her cheeks.

"You're the sweetest pie in the world, Ed." She looked down at her feet as if waiting for him to move their night along.

"So you wanna have your usual drinks?" he asked and she nervously looked around, avoiding his eyes.

"Nah, how about we take a walk? I'm kinda hot after prancing around like a fool on stage and need some fresh air," she said and he nodded in agreement.

She led him to an exit behind the stage and cursed at him when he took his car keys out of his pocket.

"Goddamnit, I said walk, Ed."

"It's kinda cold. Where are we going?" he asked, trying not to read too much into the fact that she was holding his hand.

"You'll see. It's my favorites and awesomeist place in the world."

"Okay," he said while chuckling at her bad word usage.

She whistled and hummed songs as they made their way to a park. It was dark and misty, but she didn't seem to care and led him to the middle of an empty field.

"We're gonna get sick."

"So you'll take some Tylenol and get over it," she said and sat down, patting the spot next to her for him.

He rubbed his arms and looked around the creepy empty park. But when she smiled at him, all issues disappeared.

"Oh, what the hell," he said and sat next to her on the damp grass. He gasped and she giggled.

"Oh, Ed, you make me laugh."

"Where are we?"

"A park, obviously."

"How did you figure out that this was your favorite place?"

"Look up," she answered.

He looked up and found the clear sky. He sighed and looked at her.

"It looks amazing from here."

"Yeah." She simply agreed and looked up. "The moon is big today."

"It's technically the same size, always."

"Shut up, Ed." She giggled and slapped his arm. "You know what I mean."

"I think I do."

"You know you do. You have no choice. All men know this. You have to know with women."

He chuckled and feigned surprise.

He really liked this version of Bella. He wanted so badly to ask her about the past few times. He wanted to ask why she acted so broken and why she got so fucked up.

But he didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Do you live in a big house, Ed?" she asked and he was confused about her question.

"Nah, but my parents do. I guess you could say I used to live in a big place. Why?"

"Just wondering." She left it at that and didn't say anything else for a little while.

"I'm an only child," he said into the silent night. "So a lonely big house wasn't much fun. I hated my house. I still hate it. I was lonely kid. I was kinda weird and didn't have many friends. My mother always thought something was wrong with me."

"But that's what makes you special, Ed. You're not like the rest of the guys out there. You're sweet_ and _sexy. You're also my friend." She smiled at him and took his hand in hers again.

"Friend?"

"Is that not cool?"

It was, he just didn't know why what the word sounded so small and meaningless compared with what he felt.

"It is cool. It's just that I thought you didn't want anything too personal with me."

She giggled and playfully slapped his hand. "Well friends aren't that bad. Besides, you said that you don't have many friends and I'm the same, so we can be each other's friend. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Yeah. It would," he answered. "Maybe you can teach me to play more than one song on the guitar."

She smiled warmly at him and nodded. "I could teach you how to play a Metallica song."

"Really?"

"Probably not, that shit is too heavy for me. Imagine how long that would take?" She sighed and shook her head.

He laughed. "Then why did you say it?"

She smiled. "We can try. But if you fuck up more than twice, I'll give up and we'll go back to playing simple hippie songs."

"The Carpenters are not hippies."

"No, but I call it that anyway. Fuck you, Edward, you a music expert now?"

"Fuck yes." He chuckled and without thinking it, leaned down to her lips and gave her a soft kiss. He pulled back as he realized what he had done. He was expecting Bella to chew his head off for the daring move of affection, but instead she looked at him with a serious, almost saddened look on her face.

He was about to move away, when she took him by the neck and passionately kissed him back. He pushed her on her back and hovered over her. He groaned when he felt her tongue in his mouth. For a split second, he wished that she wouldn't turn everything sexual, but the way she felt underneath his body and how amazing she tasted without a hint of alcohol, made him lose his mind.

They spent a few minutes deep kissing and making out like a couple of teenagers. Groping, kissing, licking and biting, Edward was sure he was going to fucking lose his mind. He gasped when he felt her palm his erection.

"Bella," he moaned into her mouth.

She didn't stop. She reached for his zipper and forcefully pulled it down.

"Bella, we're in a park. Wa…wait." He groaned as she easily slipped her hand inside his boxers and started to rub his length. "Fuck…Bella, we're in a fucking park…shit that feels good."

"I know that's why I'm doing it. I can't wait," she whispered breathlessly and attacked his mouth. She nipped at his lips and chin. "Fuck, you're so sexy and you don't even know it."

He didn't know how, as his mind was so fucked with her voodoo, but she managed to pull his pants and boxers far enough down his legs to free what was important. He frantically undid her pants and pulled them down her legs and hovered over her.

He slammed into her, making her moan. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes as if trying to control herself.

"You feel so good," he whispered into her ear as he slowly moved in and out of her. It was slow and quiet. They both tried to control their sounds, afraid of getting caught, but sometimes, the sounds escaping their mouths were inevitable.

"Goddamnit, Ed," she said as he fell to her side.

He pulled his pants and boxers up and chuckled into his hands as he rubbed his face.

"I can't believe I just had sex in a park."

"You're welcome," she said playfully as she pulled her pants and panties back up.

They laid there for a few minutes, trying to control their breathing and get their minds around what just happened.

"You know, I used to live in Texas," she randomly said and he smiled to himself. "Charlie, my dad, he got a job as the chief of police in a small town near Austin. I started middle school there and then we came back to Washington after just three years. I still managed to get a somewhat fucked up Texan accent. I can't help it, that accent is contagious. Sometimes I just blabber with a southern accent." She laughed and sighed at the memories. "That's where I met Jasper Whitlock. Son of a bitch was a cutie. He was blonde and blue-eyed. He was probably great in the sack."

Edward quickly disliked the conversation.

"But that's not what I wanted from him. He did country music for carnivals and shit. He wanted a girlfriend and asked me out. I, of course, only did it so he could teach me guitar. We never even kissed. But he sure did know his guitar. I picked up quick and broke up with him. Stupid kids we were. We stayed great friends though. I wonder if he became the doctor his folks wanted him to be. He was a great singer."

Edward smiled at her story. Why she wanted to share that with him, he didn't know, but it didn't matter. He would take whatever she would offer.

She dug into the pocket of her jeans, pulled out a silver key and placed it in Edward's hand.

"This is a spare key for my place," she said and he looked at her confused. "We're friends now, remember? You can stop by any time and I'll teach you guitar in exchange for some fun." She wagged her eyebrows. Just as he was about to tell her that was not the reason he slept with her, she giggled and placed a finger on his lips. "Shh, Ed. I know, I know, you ain't an asshole. I get it, I do." She stood up and stretched. "I wanna go home now."

Edward just nodded and tried to not to think about how she took his hand as they made their way back.

Edward spent the next few days thinking about Bella.

That was normal now, but normal usually consisted of sex and more sex.

Now, he kept thinking about her stories and the lovely dimple on the side of her mouth when she giggled. Now, he kept thinking about that damn key in the right pocket of his coat. On more than one occasion he wanted to use it, but he didn't want to seem desperate for her touch and skin though nothing could be truer.

Four days later, he finally decided to use the key and drove the 20 minutes it took to get to her place. He spent the five minutes it took to climb the stairs thinking about what to tell her since it was a Thursday and not a Friday. He spent two minutes in front of her door trying to control his breathing. He decided to knock first. When his fist was about to make contact with the door, it opened and a tall and large man appeared.

Paul smirked at him smugly and with a fury from hell, Edward wanted to punch the shit out of him.

What the fuck was he doing in Bella's apartment? Why the fuck did he look like he knew how much it pissed Edward off that he was there?

Why in the hell did Bella look fucked up all over again?

"Hey, you," she slurred, towards Edward's direction. She swayed back and forth, holding onto the door for dear life as Paul said his goodbyes to her.

Why the hell did she not explain his presence? Why was she only wearing short shorts and a tank top with no bra?

Why the fuck was Edward so pissed?

"Hey!" he said angrily.

She just smiled drunkenly and evilly at him. Her red eyes fluttered as she fought to stay conscious. She stepped aside for him to enter.

And he did.

* * *

**So drug addicted Bella. I know, totally out of this world. But there are some good and redeeming qualities in her, I promise. But this story is marked as angst for a reason. We'll learn more of why with later chapters.**

**If you any of you people came over from reading ATTY, thanks so much for continuing with me angsty mind. I'm really a happy person in real life. I swear lol**

**Please leave me a review! It's the only motivation I have! So if you love the story or even like Bella when she's not on drugs, let me know! Let me know how you feel about her or the sensitive subject we deal with here. I love to hear from you. You can also follow me on twitter /at/stewluv4eva.**

**Adios!**


	5. Stories

**Chapter 5- Stories**

* * *

"Want something to drink?" She slurred.

She looked horrible. She looked pathetic.

Her weakness was the only thing that kept Edward from shouting. He also knew he had no claim on her. Sure he had her body, but that didn't mean he had her soul or that he was in her heart or on her mind. She didn't owe him anything.

That didn't stop the jealousy or the rage that consumed him internally. Nothing stopped the unexplainable pain in his chest to see another man leave her place. Nothing stopped the unexplainable pain it caused him to see her like this.

So lost.

He slowly approached her, getting as close as he could to her body without actually touching her. He could smell the alcohol in her breath and see the pain in her eyes. He knew that if she moved even a little, she would fall to the ground.

"Don't be mad, Edward," she whispered and closed her eyes. She leaned her head into his chest and grabbed onto his coat for dear life.

He slowly traced an imaginary line from her temple to the end of her chin with his fingertips.

She let out a broken breath and finally lost her balance, falling in his arms. He picked her up, carried her to her bed and rested by her side.

Wide eyed and more fucked up than he had ever seen her, Bella was lost in whatever she had taken. She had let the venom win tonight.

_It's been winning._

She took deep breaths, frantically ran her hands in her hair, searched at the ceiling for something non-existent and grabbed at the bed sheets.

"Don't be mad, Ed," she whispered again, this time with desperation. A tear escaped her right eye and a strong sob left her chest.

"I'm not mad, Bella." He lied of course. But he was beginning to think he would do and say anything for this broken girl.

He never thought he would feel that way about someone. He was a smart, educated and reserved man. Letting someone take over him, especially someone that had no intention of doing so, was out of the question.

He had never been one to believe.

Believe that life's paths could lead you to feelings and people you never expected.

Yet, here he was. Watching hopelessly and with a deep frustration as the one he wants, killing herself slowly.

"Okay," she exhaled. She brought her hands to her chest, pulling at her shirt as if it would help with the pain. "I believe you. I believe you so much," she cried. She stared at the ceiling as she sobbed.

"Should I get you a doctor?" He asked, unsure of what to do.

She laughed bitterly and closed her eyes. "No, Ed. This will pass. And when it does pass, I'll be alive."

He couldn't help but notice how she bitterly forced that last word out of her mouth.

She frantically searched for his hand and he gave it to her without question. She took it, squeezing it tightly.

"Please stay with me. Don't leave me, Edward. Don't leave me by myself," she begged.

"Okay. I'll stay."

She fell asleep a few minutes later, while he silently soothed her worries with his caressing hands. He placed his head next to hers on a pillow and slowly fell asleep.

The next morning, the ache in neck woke Edward up.

He realized he was still wearing his shoes and his head was no longer on a pillow. He rubbed the sleep out of eyes and stretched.

Bella was on her side, facing his direction. She lay with her head on her hands, hair all over her face and her mouth slightly opened.

Even though she would probably wake up with the hangover from hell, she still looked beautiful.

Edward was about to caress her face, the painting of his current fascination, when suddenly he remembered Paul and how upset he was to see him leaving her apartment.

He sat up away from her and deeply sighed, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do or feel.

He turned and looked at her one more time.

_Why is it so hard to hate you? You do everything wrong. But I can't._

_I can't do anything else but come back to you._

He went to her kitchen, looked for pancake batter and started breakfast. He looked around her tiny kitchen. He noticed she had multiple cups, plates, and other utensils, way too many for a girl who lived on her own.

He was so concentrated with her belongings that he forgot about the pancakes. He sighed as he noticed they had burned to blackness.

He placed the ruined pancakes on a plate right as Bella walked into the kitchen. She slowly approached the table and slumped down. She looked freshly showered, but fucked up.

She rubbed her face and finally looked up at him.

Her brown eyes tired as hell.

"Hey you," she said, broken voice and all.

He looked down at his feet and then back at her.

He was angry and she knew it. She took a deep breath and sat back on her chair.

"Paul…"

"I don't give a shit."

"But I do. Shut the hell up."

"You're so fucking polite."

"Don't be mad, Ed. And don't be fucking rude. That ain't you."

He just rolled his eyes.

"If you must know, Paul just brought me some weed, it's all."

"Is that all you were on?" he said, not believing her for a second. "He's not a good friend. He should help…"

"Don't!"

"Don't what? Tell you the truth?"

"Don't fucking think you can say anything about my life or how I should live it. You don't know me."

"Whatever," he huffed and headed towards the door, but quickly felt her hand wrap around his.

"Just forget it! Let's move on," she demanded.

"It isn't easy."

"I know. But just forget about it and forget about last night."

"You know I won't."

"Try."

"No."

"Well can you at least forget about Paul? That fucker don't deserve anything. Especially your thoughts. And forget that you saw him here."

They stayed silent for a few minutes and didn't move. He couldn't help but smile like an idiot at the fact that she didn't let go of his hand.

"I tried making you breakfast, but got distracted. I'll buy you some batter," he said.

She chuckled. "Ed, I ain't hungry. And you don't have to buy me anything. I can provide for myself."

"I know that, but I ruined it. Let me take you out for breakfast."

She looked at him as if he was crazy. "You wanna go out in public with me?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm some bar singin, cigarette smokin, tequila drikin, crazy ass bitch," she said laughing.

"I happen to like you," he said lowly, trying to evade her eyes.

At first she looked surprised by his statement, but then found it amusing. She smiled softly and sighed. "Where you takin me, _hombre_?"

"Cora's Diner. I hear they have a grand breakfast."

"They sure do. Best fucking scrambled eggs you'll ever have."

"Sounds promising."

For a boyish woman, Bella sure as hell took long to get ready.

But she looked amazing afterwards with curled hair, light makeup, a tight black Johnny Cash t-shirt and tight blue jeans.

He nervously led her to his car. He had been on many dates with women, not this was a date, but for some reason Bella made him feel like a nervous teenager.

"What a beast!" she shouted, referring to his car. "It looks better during the light of day I must say."

Edward just chuckled and opened the door for her.

"Opening doors and buying breakfast. You really know how to woo a girl, Ed."

During the ride, she rubbed her temples a few times.

"Does your head hurt?" he asked with concern evident in his voice.

"It's fucking killing me."

He wanted to ask why she did the things she did. She seemed so much better that weak girl she turned into.

He wanted to try to talk some reasoning and sense into her.

But he didn't.

After a few cups of coffee, Bella seemed to be feeling better. She was a real chatter box. She talked about her traveling around the country and the month she spent in England and how much fun she had playing at pubs.

Edward wasn't silent like he was with Tanya; he actually talked and added his opinions to everything Bella had to say. He had never laughed so much as well. She brought out his younger self.

"So one time, I'm sitting there at the pub and this kid comes up to me and grabs by boobs. I get so mad that I don't think twice and pull my fist up and back and then straight into his left eye. Everyone cheered me on. I played it cool and cheered with the English folk, but my hand was killing me. I broke a few knuckles, but there I was waving at people and acting like I was the shit," Bella laughed. "You ever gotten in a fight, Ed?"

"Not really, unless you count Paul."

Bella shook her head embarrassed. "I barely remember anything from that night, but I remember you being a hero." She winked at him making him roll his eyes.

"What a hero."

After breakfast, Edward planned on taking her back home, but she had other ideas.

"Let's go to the park, Eddie. I haven't been there in ages."

"You sure you're feeling it?"

"Hell yes. I've had worse."

Somehow that comment made Edward cringe. He just tightened his hold on the steering wheel and stared ahead the road.

At the park, they walked side by side talking more about her adventures. At moments he would zone out and just stare at her animated face as she talked about moments of a life that he had yet to see. The Bella in her stories seemed so alive and happy. He wondered what had happened to her to make it seem like those moments were a lost cause.

He had discovered a whole new side to her this day and though the previous night had been a nightmare, he wouldn't trade this morning for the world.

His phone went off.

Tanya.

He excused himself to take the call, leaving Bella at a bench. He walked far enough so that Bella wouldn't be able to hear.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

He rolled his eyes. Of course it was him. "Yes."

"I was thinking that maybe we could have dinner tomorrow tonight?"

"Sure," he said indifferently.

"Okay, pick me up at 7."

"Sure."

"I was also thinking about going to the movies. We haven't been there in ages."

"Okay."

"Your mother wanted…" Edward stopped listening at that.

Laughter from a group of kids and a strumming guitar made him turn around. He smiled at what he found.

Standing on the bench, was Bella with what looked like a miniature guitar. Her hands were much bigger than the neck, but she played it just fine.

A group of children clapped and laughed with her.

She started singing a children's song. She seemed to know the words by heart. She would tap her foot on the bench and make exaggerated noises and faces that went along with the lyrics of the song to get them to giggle. She seemed so natural with them.

Edward didn't even realize Tanya had ended the call. He was so mesmerized by the display of innocence and happiness in front of him.

Bella finished the song and the group of children clapped and celebrated her just as the adults did in the bar. She jumped off the bench and returned the guitar to a small boy, apparently the owner of the instrument and a kiss from Bella on the cheek.

She turned to him and smiled as she found him dumbfounded.

She was making it hard for him to not care and she knew it. He knew she knew it. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to have any anger towards her.

That night he didn't sleep. He spent hours looking up drug rehabilitation centers in the Seattle area, comparing costs and services. He Googled ways to get a friend to agree to go these places. What were the right words to say? What he shouldn't say? What to do if this person refused.

He fell asleep at his computer.

The next night, he picked Tanya up at 7 and took her to her favorite restaurant. She talked about some details of the future he couldn't bring himself to accept. It seemed all of their conversations for the past three months had revolved around the same thin. He was bored and indifferent. But Tanya and his family didn't seem to understand this or even notice.

As she continued talking, Edward turned his eyes to a leaving group.

A man in an expensive looking suit led the group with a girl who looked familiar to Edward. The girl caught him staring and glared at him. He was confused by her attitude until he remembered that she was Bella's guitarist. He was about to worry about her telling Bella about him and Tanya, when Bella herself caught up to the girl.

She looked beautiful tonight. Her hair curled perfectly. Her tight jeans and leather jacket were a great contrast to the fancy restaurant. She also seemed…sober. She laughed at something the man said and then turned towards Edward's direction. At first, her face seemed to light up as she found him, but when she spotted Tanya, her face fell for a second, but a smirk graced her beautiful face.

He didn't move. Even when he heard Tanya calling his name, he couldn't bring himself to look react. It was until Bella winked at him and quickly exited the restaurant that Edward's body and mind reacted.

"I'll be back, Tanya. I just saw someone I know," he said and ran after Bella. Hoping he hadn't lost her.

As if he ever had her.

* * *

**S****orry for the ridiculous wait for an update for this story and my other two stories. I've been having some health issues that caused me not to care much for sitting at a computer for a long period of time.**

**I'm getting better, so hopefully this means more regular updates.**

**Thank you.**


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